


My Subjects Shall Not Fall To Your Cooking

by TwiliDragonRin



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: But It's Fluffy, F/F, Fluff, Kinda fluff, Post skip Crimson flower, Sothis help us all, Vomiting, dorothea tries to cook, edelgard doesn't feel good, poor edie, some small angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:02:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24001030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwiliDragonRin/pseuds/TwiliDragonRin
Summary: Edelgard has been pushing herself hard to win this war. Dorothea just wants her to relax and take a break. So when Edelgard refuses to listen to Dorothea, Dorothea decides to the the next best thing. Cook. Edelgard protects her subjects by taking the bullet and being her taste-tester. How good will this go? Not that good if you read the tags. An Edelthea oneshot.
Relationships: Dorothea Arnault/Edelgard von Hresvelg
Comments: 4
Kudos: 47





	My Subjects Shall Not Fall To Your Cooking

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: There is vomiting in this story. It is not explicit but I still wanted to give a warning for those who are squeamish.

Edelgard held her axe firm in her hand and swiftly brought it down at the training dummy that stood in front of her. It took no time for the dummy’s body to crack into two and collapse on the ground. Edelgard breathed for a quick moment before sighing. Working with a dummy would not give her the results that she was expecting.

She probably might have to find someone who would be willing to train their dear empress. Then again, she would pity the poor soul that would even dare try to stand before her. Even Hubert, her own dear right hand man, would not even dare cross Edelgard in training. Not with her might nor her axe.

“Perhaps I should find the professor and see if she’ll train with me,” Edelgard sighed once more as she lowered her axe to her side.

She heard footsteps approaching right behind her. She recognized those familiar footsteps, the very same ones that she would hear every single day after her training attempt. Edelgard simply smiled.

“Come to sway me from my training again, Dorothea?” Edelgard said, turning around and her assumptions are correct when she is met face to face with those very same worried green eyes.

“Edie, when will you take some time to relax and calm yourself?” Dorothea asked her. “Constant training with you. If you are not dealing with documents and such from Hubert and this war in your personal chambers, you are busy here wearing yourself thin.”

“Dorothea, I do appreciate the concern, truly I do,” Edelgard said. “But I cannot allow myself to slip. I cannot afford to let myself grow weak.”

“Edie, you and I both know you are far from weak—”

Edelgard only closed her eyes as her response before beginning to walk past Dorothea and heading towards the exit. “No Dorothea, you do not know that.” But before she could reach the exit, she felt a hand grab at her arm and hold her back.

“Edelgard, please…” Dorothea begged her. “You are no good to anyone if you are exhausted.” She walked a little closer to Edelgard and wrapped her arms around Edelgard’s waist, pulling herself close to Edelgard from behind. “Let me ease your stress, Edie…please.”

Edelgard stood there in Dorothea’s arms. It didn’t feel like a long time, but she prayed that it could have been much longer. She wished so desperately to be in Dorothea’s arms for as long as she could have wanted. Every part of her body screamed for that selfish desire to be with Dorothea. But Edelgard knew, she knew that she could not allow herself to stumble. She could not allow herself to falter. If she stayed as weak as she was before…

She pulled away from Dorothea’s embrace and shook her head. “I am sorry, Dorothea,” Edelgard whispered, feeling her heart wrench up in her chest. And she knew she was doing the same to Dorothea.

Dorothea stood there and watched Edelgard. No. Her empress, leave the training room and leaving her alone with the broken dummy.

Edelgard was greeted with more documents and war meetings with Hubert and Byleth once she returned to her personal chambers. She had been preoccupied with them for most of the day without a single moment of rest even though Byleth had asked her not to. But Edelgard had simply told Byleth the exact same thing to Dorothea.

And it was that she could not afford to.

And so, she was stuck in her chambers for most of the day. Until one of the solders doing their patrols in the monastery had warned her about some very suspicious activity in the dining hall. Edelgard did wonder why no one else had bothered with this supposed ‘suspicious activity’. Though, it could be far worse than everyone else expected.

So Edelgard had put her documents on hold while she investigates the dining hall.

But when Edelgard is making her way to the dining hall, she noticed that there are a few very familiar faces staring through the windows of the building. A few faces she recognized were Caspar, Lysithea, Bernadetta and Byleth.

“What in the world are they doing?” Edelgard questions to herself as she approached them.

Caspar was the first to notice her. “Edelgard! This is bad. Really, really bad!” he told her.

She raised a hand in front of her to calm him. “Caspar? What is the meaning of this?” Edelgard asked him.

“It’s…it’s Dorothea,”

Edelgard’s eyes widened as she lowered her hand. Her heart was wrenching in her chest again. “What happened?! Is she okay?! Is something happening to her in the dining hall?!”

Lysithea was the next to turn around and look at Edelgard. “Nuh-uh. It’s worse. Much worse.”

Then Bernadetta. “E-Edelgard! You-you have to do something!”

“Enough!” Edelgard shouted. “What is going on?! What’s happening to Dorothea?!” She tried her best to keep herself from sounding terrified, but she was not doing a good job. She then turned to Byleth in hopes of some idea of what is going on. “My teacher? Please. What is happening to Dorothea?!”

Byleth sighed. “She is cooking for the army tonight, and she wants help tasting her food.”

Edelgard paused. This. This was absolutely worse than what she could have imagined.

“Yeah!” Caspar began. “She wanted me to try out this batter mix that she made! It looked green and slimy. Last I checked, batter mix should _not_ be green!”

Bernadetta shook her head. “It smelled horrible too! I don’t know how she doesn’t smell it at all!”

“Edelgard, you have to do something,” Lysithea begged her. “You have to tell her to stop before she puts someone in the infirmary or worse!”

Edelgard sighed then looked at Byleth. Byleth simple shrugged her shoulders. “You know that Dorothea tried her best at this. She would be very disappointed if no one tastes her food” Was this Byleth’s way to get Edelgard to taste test her food? “On the other hand…her cooking is beyond atrocious.”

“You are a great help, my teacher,” Edelgard groaned. “Fine. Let me handle this.”

Edelgard walked past them. Caspar tried to reach out for her. “Don’t eat it! For the love of the Goddess, don’t-!” A hand was placed on his shoulder and he stopped mid-sentence. He turned his head and saw that it was Byleth who shook her head.

“Let her go,” she told him. “She’ll know what to do.”

“I hope you’re right…” Lysithea murmured.

Inside the dining hall, the smell hit Edelgard like a mounted knight. It really did smell bad, and the kitchen was a mess. Right in the center of that mess is Dorothea, she has a plate in her hands and whatever was on that plate looked less than appealing.

Dorothea looked up and smiled as soon as she saw Edelgard walking up to her.

“Edie! I’m so glad you’re here,” she said as she gently places her plate, of whatever Goddess’ name that is, on the counter. “I was worried that you would be trapped in your chamber all day.”

“I would have truth be told,” Edelgard admitted as she approached Dorothea. “However, someone told me there was something going on in the dining hall. I did not think that was you.”

Dorothea smiled sheepishly. “Ah yes…you see, I had asked if I could be the one to cook for the army tonight.”

Edelgard blinked. She should have known. She specifically told everyone that Dorothea should not, under any circumstances, be put on kitchen duty. It was no wonder that she was cooking.

“I…I see.”

Dorothea frowned. “You sound hesitant.”

Edelgard shook her head. “No, no, I simply just…uhm—” Edelgard had to think fast. She glanced over at the plate now that she was closer. _‘Dear Goddess, it is green. Why? Why is it green? Why does it smell so bad?’_ she thought. There had to be some way to avoid all of this. “I was surprised is all. I thought Bernadetta was supposed to cook tonight,” Edelgard lied.

Dorothea smiled. “No. It was another soldier truth be told. But I am finished with the first batch.” Dorothea took the plate in her hands. Why did she have to look at her like that? She seemed so proud. “I was hoping to have Caspar, Lysithia, Bernie, and the professor have a taste before I make more for the rest of the army.”

Edelgard took another look at the plate. What is that liquid slimy substance in the center? Was it supposed to be cherry? Or blood?

“Dorothea? What did you even make?” Edelgard asked her.

“Oh! I made Sweet Bun Trio!”

“Oh…” Edelgard gulped. That does not look like a bun. “It looks…pleasant.”

“Would you like to try it out, Edie?” Dorothea asked her. “Everyone else refused. But since you’re here, you can be the first to try it!”

Edelgard bit her lip. Is this punishment for how she pushed Dorothea away earlier? Is this punishment for constantly working herself? Edelgard turned to the window and saw everyone staring at her. She then looked at the plate of…buns in front of her. She could not let everyone suffer through this.

“Of course,” Edelgard said with every bit of certainty in her voice. “I shall try it, for you.”

“Oh Edie!” Dorothea squealed.

Edelgard slowly reached for the green piece that was supposed to be a bun in her hand and stared at it. No hesitation. Then she took the quickest bite out of it. She heard everyone scream outside of the dining hall the moment she took the bite. It was loud enough that even Dorothea turned to see everyone screaming.

The piece of food felt hard then slimy in her mouth. The was a very strong taste to it but it was not bad. Actually, the bun tasted a lot like tea—no. There was that after taste. And it was bad. It was very bad. Edelgard’s hand shook and it took every fiber of her being to place the piece back on the plate without spitting out the contents in her mouth.

“Edie? Edie are you okay?” Dorothea asked her.

Edelgard tried to swallow the piece but covered her mouth instead. Everything after that was a blur.

The last thing Edelgard heard was Byleth’s frantic voice calling out, “Someone get Manuela!”

Edelgard’s eyes slowly started to flutter open. She heard a familiar voice call out to her.

“Edie? Edie are you with me again?”

“Dor…Dorothea…?” Edelgard murmured weakly. As her eyes adjusted to waking up, she turned her head slightly and saw Dorothea sitting right next to her bed. “What…where…?”

Dorothea shushed the poor woman. “Easy, you’re in your room.”

“What…happened to me…?” Edelgard tried to sit up but her stomach did not agree to that. She placed one hand over her mouth and one over her stomach as she felt the contents in her stomach about to resurface.

Dorothea immediately handed over a bucket to Edelgard who quickly took it. She stuck her face in the bucket and instantly threw up. Dorothea winced as she heard Edelgard strain herself. She reached over and rubbed the poor Empress’ back.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Dorothea hummed. “You’ll feel better once you let it all out.”

It took a moment, but Edelgard was finally able to stop. Dorothea took the bucket from Edelgard and set it aside in case Edelgard needed it again.

“That…was not very regal, was it?” Edelgard barely managed to say.

“No, not at all. But it is very human,” Dorothea told her in response. “I’m sorry.”

Edelgard looked at her. “What…whatever for?”

Dorothea took a cloth from the nightstand beside them and gently wiped away at Edelgard’s mouth. Edelgard froze just a little before allowing herself to relax a Dorothea’s gentle hand.

“For getting you sick. I shouldn’t have even picked up anything at the kitchen,” Dorothea sighed.

Edelgard shook her head. “No…you do not have to apologize for that.”

Dorothea frowned, smiling sadly. “I already knew I was a terrible cook. My food is horrendous.”

“Then…why did you still try to cook?” Edelgard asked.

Dorothea looked back at Edelgard, staring into her eyes. “Because…I wanted to make one of your favorite foods.”

“The Sweet Bun Trio…” Edelgard murmured.

“Mhm. One of your favorites.” Dorothea dropped the cloth into the bucket then leaned against the bed. “You’ve been pushing yourself so hard…I just wanted to do something to get you to rest. Something so you could take it easy.”

Edelgard frowned. She then reached over and gently took Dorothea’s hand into her own. “Well…I do truly feel horrible. My stomach still hurts, so it seems I might have to take it easy now.”

Dorothea chuckled. “I guess so. One way or another, I finally got you to rest.” Dorothea gently rubbed the back of Edelgard’s hand with her thumb. “I guess my plan did not completely backfire.”

Edelgard couldn’t help but chuckle too. “I guess not. But please, do me a favor, Dot?”

“Yes, my dear Edie?”

Edelgard frowned. “Never go anywhere near the kitchen ever again. Now please—” Edelgard yanked her hand from Dorothea’s and covered her mouth. “—hand me the bucket!”

And Dorothea took care of her mighty Empress as she lay in bed all day. Not as romantic as one might think for an Empress and her Songstress.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for sitting through this story. I've been itching to write more Edelthea for a while and I couldn't sleep. So I managed to write this in the span of 2 hours. Help me. I dream of Edelthea. I need to sleep for one night. Anyways, I got this idea from a few people in the server. So yeah! Thank you for the prompt! 
> 
> Comments are always appreciated! I will always read them! Have a great night--great morning everyone!


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